Hey Everyone! Thanks for downloading another episode of GOT SIDE HUSTLE.
Today I want to share with you something that I learned during a webinar today. If you've never heard of VIDA, it is this amazing, wellness app that you can participate in through your employer. If you have a certain kind of health insurance. I've been using VIDA for a couple of years now, I have a tremendous health coach that I talk to on a weekly basis, but there are all kinds of info in this app.
It's part Fitbit, part My Fitness Pal, part food tracker, all of those things, but then there's also lessons and webinars and things you can participate in. It's pretty fantastic. So if you have a chance, ask your human resources department about VIDA.
And so today I attended a webinar talking about how to deal with stress and the holidays and how to deal with stress that comes with the holidays. And for me, the holidays are really interesting because I have a very personal type connection to certain feelings. And then I have a work-related one. So first I'll share that I celebrate Christmas and I never really know how I'm going to feel year to year. I lost my mom when I was nine years old. She happened to die on Christmas Eve day. That very morning. And so that sometimes changes the way I approach the holiday season. Some years I'm quite festive, I've been quite happy and want to celebrate and do all of the Christmas-related things. But some years I do get rather melancholy and I kind of withdraw. I've known that all of my young adult and adult life. There's always that stigma that hangs around the holidays for me.
And then the second thing is that my day job has an incredible event that happens in December and on the last Friday of the academic year. And that's when we celebrate all of our students who are receiving scholarships for the fall semester. We've made quite a big deal out of this gathering over the years. And I look forward to it every year, but it is a stressful event to put on because it runs into finals and it runs into the Thanksgiving holiday and leans into Christmas too.
I have all those added stressors that are in my pocket. So when I saw this webinar was going to happen, I thought: well, that'd be a good thing to sign up for right now because, y'all, I'm feeling just a little bit of stress. I pop on this webinar and they shared with us a procedure that's used in cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT. It is a process to help break the vicious cycle of depressing or anxious thoughts, feelings, and behavior. It's called the three C’s: Catch It, Check It, Change It.
Step one is to CATCH IT. You spot out when you might be having certain kinds of negative thoughts and the best way to do this is to use your emotions as cues. So when you feel anxious or depressed, you check your thoughts. What are you thinking? And could those thoughts make you more depressed or anxious?
Right now, what I'm finding myself thinking about is: oh, my gosh, I have all this stuff on my plate. There's all these tasks to be done. I don't know who to delegate to. I don't feel like I'm going to get it all done on time. I don't even know if I'm doing it right. Which is crazy because I've done this event eight times before. I don't know why I wouldn't do it right this time. Right?
Then we've got step two and step two is called CHECK IT. That's when you stop and think about what you're thinking and is it really true? And do you have evidence to back it up and what other people interpret things in the same way?
This is probably the hardest part of this exercise because everybody thinks: well, I'm thinking it, so this must be the right way. Or…because I'm thinking it, this means everybody else is thinking it. And it's really difficult to check out our own thoughts objectively.
And, and that's why I'm a big believer in therapy because sometimes we need an outside person to step in and be able to say, “I hear you saying this, this, this, and this, but have you also thought about this, this, this, and this.” So taking that one step back. Perspective is really important in a scenario like this.
And I happen to be really lucky today because after I watched this webinar, I had my one-on-one with my supervisor and it was an opportunity to share the fact that I feel like I'm kind of in a slump right now. I feel like I have all these stressors, all these things that are on my plate that I'm not dealing with very well.
And this is how I'm thinking of myself. I'm thinking of myself as not good at my job. I'm thinking of myself as I don't have enough time to do this stuff. I'm thinking about myself as I have to do all of this by myself because no one else knows how to do it. She helped me reframe those things.
And that leads to step three, which is to CHANGE IT. And at this point you have to try substituting more realistic thoughts. If the automatic thoughts tend to be depressive or anxious, I need to be thinking of different, realistic ways of thinking about the situation.
SO: Yes, I have all these things on my plate. Change that by saying, well, that's no big deal because you've done all of these things before. They're simple tasks. Why don't you write them all down? And let's look out for them one by one. And when we get one done, we'll check it off and that'll be awesome. Right?
Another way I can change this is to say, “Wow. I just, I don't know how to delegate tasks to other members of my team.” So this is where I go next door to Lisa or to Dolores or to Ocie or any of my colleagues and say, “Hey, I'm having a hard time getting on top of all my duties. I was hoping that you could help me with something. Here's four things I need to do, which one of them feels like they'd be the most fun for you?”
HUZZAH! I have solved my own problem, CHANGED IT.
I'm so excited about utilizing these steps in the next couple of days.
Step one, catch it.
Step two, check it.
Step three, change it.
And then apparently there's also a step four that says “practice makes perfect,” which is where I get to now utilize this fantastic strategy over the next two and a half weeks!
So, my friends, this was a much shorter episode of GOT SIDE HUSTLE, but it's kind of what I need to do right now. Thank you for appeasing me because this has actually been quite cathartic for me, and I hope that you got something out of it. If you did, please email me at info@krismcpeak.com and say HEY, McPeak, I LOVED THAT EPISODE!!!!
Hang in there, my friends, it is Wednesday. We're going to get to the weekend before you know it, and everything's going to work itself out.
I believe that in my heart, Thank you again for listening
